


keep one more secret, I dare you

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: And kind of funny LOL, Blowjobs, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Face-Fucking, Facials, Hair-pulling, Hubert is an idiot, M/M, PWP, Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Timeskip, Secret Relationship, dorothea is a bad influence, enemies to lovers (past), ferdinand is fucking pissed, i guess, its kind of a crack fic, no beta we die like Glenn, theyre in love okay???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21684292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Somewhere along the way, they even began considering each other friends. Friends who shared tea and coffee. Friends who would recommend each other books, even if their tastes were miles apart. Friends who would spend one half of the night drinking wine in an amicable setting while talking about horses of all fucking things, and the other half having drunken discussions of the whatever else Hubert's putrid mind could bring up to not have to listen about the latest stunt Buttercup von Aegir came up with.Friends who kissed. Friends who stared into each other's eyes lovingly. Friends who sucked each other off. Friends who fucked.-Ferdinand and Hubert have been in a relationship for years, but Hubert insisted they kept it a secret. Ferdinand is tired of Hubert's crap.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg (background), Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 12
Kudos: 119





	keep one more secret, I dare you

**Author's Note:**

> So I literally wrote this out of impulse. This is just to go with a picture I drew yesterday, which was also out of impulse.  
> This COULD fit in the ferdibert week if I wanted to but...I'm gonna hold that back.  
> Anyway enjoy Ferdinand becoming unhinged.

Years ago, Ferdinand and Hubert somehow got past their differences and became amicable. Nobody could call them close friends, but at the very least they could be in the same space without breaking into a fight. If the wind was blowing in the right direction, they could even be seen indulging in a friendly argument, simply discussing their points of view of varied matters and coming to a mutual conclusion, which was more often than not 'Let us agree to disagree'. 

Somewhere along the way, they even began considering each other friends. Friends who shared tea and coffee. Friends who would recommend each other books, even if their tastes were miles apart. Friends who would spend one half of the night drinking wine in an amicable setting while talking about horses of all fucking things, and the other half having drunken discussions of the whatever else Hubert's putrid mind could bring up to not have to listen about the latest stunt Buttercup von Aegir came up with. 

Friends who kissed. Friends who stared into each other's eyes lovingly. Friends who sucked each other off. Friends who fucked.

They're fucking in love, okay?

But guess who's aware of that fact? No one! No one is! Because brainless goblin thundercunt Hubert insisted they kept it a damn secret. 

At the time, Ferdinand agreed without hesitation. For fuck's sake, he was on another dimension after Hubert confessed to him. Okay, so it _may_ have happened because Ferdinand ground his ass against his dick but hey! He got the confession he wanted and that's what mattered. The end justifies the means, at least in this particular harmless case. 

Ferdinand had to admit, a secret relationship had its appeal. He has read countless romance novels that like to delve on this topic and the passionate romance that is presented in them is something he can always get behind. Oh, it is simply divine! How he longed for someone to love him so fervently! 

Yeah? _Yeah?_ Fuck that. Ferdinand wants nothing to do with that bullshit anymore. Hubert is right; romance novels suck and they should burn to hell for painting life so pink. 

Just kidding, he loves them. He kisses them all good night to say sorry for his foul thoughts. 

Do you know how annoying it is to want to hold hands with your boyfriend, only for him to move his hand away last minute and scold you for trying to " _pull a stunt like that?_ " Oh, **_fuck_ ** you, von Vestra! He just wants to hold your fucking hand, dammit! 

Every damn time Ferdinand wanted to dote on his boyfriend, he was stopped by that man that claimed he loved him. If you fucking loved him you'd fucking hold his damn hand or run your fingers through his hair as you did in private, you insufferable gargoyle! Put yourself in his shoes for a change! 

It's because of this imbecilic attitude of his that they found themselves in this situation now. You'd think that at least in the private comfort that is the Minister's study, they could have some moments for each other. That was true to some extent too. They were able to go over the reports of the day, follow the thread of gossip they were using to find possible spies, have a nice cup of tea, and then have a very satisfying make out session. Hubert protested against it but he was not one to make another comment like that when Ferdinand came to pin him against a wall and devour his mouth like a hungry animal. 

_This_ was nice. This was enough even. Now, all he had to do was to lean closer to him, grab his oh so tiny waist with his strong hands and bring him towards him, let his hands trail down to his non-existent ass and then-oh and then- 

"Hubert?" 

Void and flames, that's the fucking Emperor's voice! Ferdinand and Hubert both stopped their passionate agenda to turn their heads to the source. When they couldn't see her yet they both sighed in relief. She was still on her way there, but her voice sounding so clearly meant she was nearby.

Wait no, fuck! Go away, you're going to ruin everything! 

"Ferdinand, get off me." Hubert's hushed voice came right at that moment, and for the first and only time in his life, Ferdinand wondered what it would be like to live as a traitor to the empire because he has never had a bigger urge to rob the Emperor of her life. Please forgive him Edelgard, he would die for you in a heartbeat but did you have to come now?! 

"What? No! I do not want-" 

"Ferdinand, _please._ " God, his pleading voice. Ferdinand could tell he was serious. And yet he didn't want to resign. 

"No, I am so tired of this! Why must we hide away?! Are you embarrassed of me or-" 

"This is not the time to-" 

"Hubert, are you there?" 

"Fucking _hell-_ " 

Hubert's hand instantly snapped to the side and he pressed his hand against the wall. Something must have been there, for when he did that, both him and Ferdinand sunk into the wall and came out in the other end, which was, surprise surprise, a secret room. 

Both him and Ferdinand let a sigh of relief because right after they did that, Edelgard finally reached the room.

"Hub- Oh. He's not here." Edelgard's voice sounded a bit surprised. It was to be expected; she hadn't given Hubert any direct orders and as far as she knew, he was supposed to be stuck here, slaving over paperwork. 

"He isn't? My my, I suppose he finally got himself a life. Careful Edie, next thing you know, he'll leave your side." Oh nice, Dorothea was here too! She must have entered the room as well. 

"Please, Dorothea. If he ever did that, I would honestly thank him, rather than scold him. I feel like I am depriving him of a better life but he insists that there is no better life." There was concern in the emperor's voice. And after that, a laugh from the songstress.

"Oh, poor Hubie. He simply doesn't know what he's missing out on. I offered to help him you know, but he has yet to give a response. I'm kind of glad he didn't though; I am way happier you responded to my plea." 

"D-Dorothea please." 

Oh yeah, did you know that Edelgard and Dorothea revealed they were officially 'courting'? Unlike Hubert, they aren't fucking cowards. Ferdinand is happy for them of course, but every time he heard this, it made his blood boil. Yes, just like it was now. 

"Aw, you look so cute like that Edie. You should just look for what you need; I'm sure Hubie won't mind you going around his office." 

"I suppose you're right." 

Well great, not only did they cockblock Ferdinand but they intended to continue cockblocking him. These lovely ladies know how to get under his skin sometimes.

"Keep your voice down, Ferdinand. They will be able to hear us even with this fake wall between us." Hubert finally spoke again, his voice matching what he just requested of him.

"I know that, you dull-witted zombie." Ferdinand's voice matched as well. How nice of him. 

"Never thought I would hear your voice in a softer tone." Screw you, von Vestra! Screw you and the damned sexy smile that adorned your face as you said that! "Looks like we will just have to wait them out." 

"We will do no such thing."

"I beg your pard-" 

Ferdinand impulsively pinned him against the wall once more. Hubert didn't have time to protest, again, and even if he wanted to the words wouldn't come out because lord knows Hubert, the hidden horny bitch he is, loves to get pinned against anything by Ferdinand's strong arms. 

"We will talk about this, and you will answer me: Why must we keep our relationship hidden?" 

"Ferdinand, this is hardly the time to-"

"It is exactly the time to do so! We are hiding in your damn office because you cannot fathom the idea of us being lov-" 

"Flames below, _Ferdinand_. You are raising your voice." The killer stare he threw at him did nothing to pipe down the prime minister. If anything, it just flared him up further. 

"Do not tell me what to do." Even though he said this, he did lower his voice once again. "I am sick and tired of this, Hubert! I want nothing more than to yell to the whole world that you belong to me, and that I belong to you! Why can I not do that?! What the hell is stopping us?!" 

"Ferdinand…" Hubert had always been adamant on this before, and Ferdinand had brought it up before, but he seemed to be getting through him. "I understand your...uhm, well. I can see why you would be upset. You, who is as transparent as glass. However I-"

"Hubert, I swear to Sothis above-" 

" _However_. I worry about what the people will say." Hubert? Talking about the opinion of the public? 

"Since when do you care about your reputation?" He wasn't even mad when he said this statement, just confused. 

"Flames's sake, Ferdinand. Not _my_ reputation." Hubert was seething at this point. He brought his hand up to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose, wondering how a man so bright could be such an imbecile sometimes. "I give a rat's ass what the public says of me. But I care about what they say about _you._ " 

Ah. Right. Hubert always puts those he cares for first. Well, that makes more sense. 

There were a few seconds of silence as the realization dawned on Ferdinand. He is the prime minister of the Adrestian Empire, he is to keep smooth relations with the countries around them, among many other duties. And as the left hand of the Emperor, he was the one that worked in the sunlight for everyone to see. There were no shadows to cover his missteps, should he ever have any. 

How kind of Hubert. But Ferdinand doesn’t give a fuck.

“...Well, the sentiment is appreciated, my darling, and I love that you worry for me, but I can take care of myself and whatever consequences come out of this.” His voice still carried the firm tone from before, but at least he had calmed down considerably, probably because of the sentiments Hubert shared just now, which made his heart turn into puddle.

“Ferdinand, you do not-”

“But I do, Hubert. I know very well that the tongues will let loose the moment I start courting you publicly. I have thought of this as well before. But I do not care; I will rise above the tasteless gossip and prove myself to everyone with my actions. And I know I will gain the hearts of everyone. There is nothing to fear, my dear. I will be okay. Better than ever, because I will, at last, be able to tell everyone how much I love you.” 

“...” Hubert seemed to be convinced. Finally, Ferdinand would be able to lean in and continue what they started. Where did he leave off? Ah yes, he was kissing him and then- 

“But Ferdinand. It is not that easy to change-”

“Oh. My. _Fucking_. Goddess.” That’s it. Ferdinand is done with this man. Fuck doing this the nice way. “You will agree with me, Hubert von Vestra; you have no other choice.”

Hubert didn’t get what Ferdinand was talking about until the proud man kneeled in front of him. Then he understood everything and was rightfully afraid. 

“Ferdie, dammit, you cannot intend to- Her Majesty and her...beloved are still outside and-”

“Shut your mouth, you _cretin_. I told you to not tell me what to do.” It was easy to slap away Hubert’s hands when they came to try and stop him from undoing his pants and lifting his shirt. “You do not play fair, so I will not either; How curious, you are rubbing off on me.” Hubert thought he saw his own face when Ferdinand offered him a devilish smile after that statement. 

“This is not necessary-” Hubert had a whole speech already planned out to deliver, but he became unable to say much when Ferdinand’s hands were all over his cock. And his cock, the stupid thing, decided to react and begin to stand proudly. 

Betrayed by his own body. This is laughable. He is a disgrace. 

“Oh, but it is, since you are hellbent in not giving me my way. I will have my way. I will not stop this until you change your mind. Pick your poison; you either agree with me or let us be discovered anyway when your voice betrays you because believe me, you are louder than you think you are.” 

Hubert once again tried to reply, but Ferdinand gave him no chance when he, right after he finished saying his piece, brought his tongue to his. Dear fucking god. He hadn’t done anything spectacular yet and Hubert was already losing. 

“Hubie is quite the disorganized man. There are papers everywhere.” Hubert was suddenly too aware of the conversation going outside. He didn’t want to hear Dorothea’s voice now, not when Ferdinand’s tongue and hands were working their magic on him. Please go away, please, all of you, just leave Hubert alone for void’s sake-

“He’s the type of man that has an organized mess, or that’s what Ferdinand calls him,” Edelgard responded as she let out a sigh. From the sound of it, she was unsuccessful in finding that which she was looking for. “This is impossible; where even is he?” 

“I dunno, I haven’t seen him today.” Dorothea didn’t sound too concerned. She was probably brushing her fingers through her hair. “Can’t they wait? I don’t want to spend our day fretting over someone else.” 

“I suppose they can… They aren’t urgent, I just wish-”

“Yes, yes, I know Edie. You and him are always so hardworking. You both need to relax a little more.” 

“She’s right, you know,” Ferdinand spoke up, his breath naturally clashing against Hubert’s now erect cock. He brought his tongue out again to continue licking around it afterward, all with a knowing smile while he kept his eyes on him. 

“I do not- And what is the problem with- Fuck-” One second licking around him, the next he’s back on his tip, wrapping his tongue around it. Damn this man. 

“You should relax more, Hubie. I could help you with that more often if you only allowed me to dote on you in public, you know?” Of course, he had to make it about that. Curse him! Does he think Hubert doesn’t know that?! 

It’s not like Hubert hadn’t thought of how nice it would be to sit in the gardens of the palace with Ferdinand, holding his hand as he sits close to him. Just the two of them, leaning against each other, the aromas of tea and coffee mixed in the air creating a pleasant result. Doing nothing, in particular, would be enough. Being able to do that would be enough. If anything, he would turn his head and turn Ferdinand’s to lean down and kiss-

Oh fuck, Ferdinand put his cock in his mouth. 

“ _Curses_ -!” Hubert’s voice escaped before he was able to manage it. Damn it all! 

“D-Dorothea, wait, I think I heard something.” Edelgard’s voice sounded a little surprised. But it seems she intended to say something more because Dorothea instantly shushed her. 

“It’s okay, Edie. I didn’t hear anything. Not like I could listen to anything but you right now.” Their voices were cut off after that, partly because they stopped talking to do...whatever the hell they were doing, and also because Hubert became unable to listen to much else other than the sound of Ferdinand sucking on his cock like it was the sweetest fucking candy in all of Fódlan. 

You know the worst (best) part of Ferdinand giving him head? He has no gag reflex. Yeah, he didn’t waste much time to take the entire thing to the hilt. Going all the way up to his tip, flattening his tongue and dragging it against him as he did so by the way, before slowly descending, covering his cock completely again. And he made sure to look up at him every so often to, lock eyes with Hubert, who was starting to grow weak on his knees.

“ _Flames_ , Ferdie, your mouth feels so fucking good-” This was more directed to himself. He knew that if this kept up, he wouldn’t be able to keep his voice down. Even with covering his mouth, which he had done right after he cursed earlier, he was aware that he was letting his voice grew louder than it should be. Why, oh why, was he so turned on with scenarios like this? What Ferdinand wasn’t doing was being done by his own, disgusting mind. 

“ _Mmmmnno_ -” Ferdinand couldn’t be bothered to let go of Hubert’s cock to agree with him. 

This whole thing was already terrible for Hubert, but then Ferdinand let go of his cock finally and instead licked over it again. That wasn’t so bad, but he kept dragging his tongue down to his balls, which he decided to be nice to and plant a kiss on. 

“Oh, do not think I forgot about them.” 

Hubert found himself throwing his head back against the wall as Ferdinand oh so graciously took his balls into his mouth now. His hands occupied themselves again with his poor cock, who was still twitching for attention. Aw, who knew Hubert could be an attention whore? And his touch wasn’t gentle either. His hands knew very well when and where to squeeze and be rough with him because of course, this useless goblin liked pain. 

“F-Ferdie, p- _please_ , stop it-” Begging? From Hubert von Vestra? Only for Ferdinand. 

Ferdinand, in turn, freed his mouth from his occupation to speak, giving him the same devil grin from before. “No can do. You should be grateful, instead, that I am being so merciful. If I wanted to drive you to the edge, I know just where to press.” And right after, he moved one of his hands off his cock and instead brought it down, or rather, between Hubert’s legs to-

“Fuck’s sake, _fine_! Fine. Y-You, win. You can tell the whole fucking continent for all I care. Flames, even beyond that.” If Ferdinand added prostate stimulation to the mix he would have Hubert moaning out like a whore, which is something he didn’t want to do at the moment. 

“How kind you are.” He wore a proud grin. Sparing him from that future, he rose his head and hand and brought them back to his cock. “Well? It would be a shame to stop now, do you not think so?”

“You are crazy if you think I would let you stop now.” This time, it was Ferdinand’s turn to get cut off. He opened his mouth to reply, just like Hubert thought he would. At that moment, he reached his hands out grab at his hair from the sides and pull him into his cock with it. Hard. 

The choking sound that came from Ferdinand was perhaps loud, but Hubert no longer cared. He wasn’t thinking anymore, merely acting on impulse at this point. And since Ferdinand already had it his way, it was his turn to have some fun. 

Moving his hands from his hair to his scalp, he took it upon himself to move Ferdinand’s head for him. God, did he love to fucking ram into his mouth like he was doing now, matching the pace he set with his hips. And you heard no complaints from Ferdinand. The only thing that came out of his were choked moans. Perhaps loud, perhaps not. Hubert couldn’t concentrate on that, he could only think of the fact that he was going to reach his limit. 

Right before he came, he was able to recall Ferdinand’s complaints of his taste, so he harshly pushed his head out last second and because of this, the prime minister’s face and hair was adorned with a good amount of cum. As for Ferdinand, who had his beloved’s cock laying uselessly on his face, well...he had all shades of satisfaction on his face. He couldn’t speak, merely catch his breath, which hit against Hubert of course. 

It was a miracle Hubert didn’t fall over. His knees felt like jelly at this point, but somehow he managed to keep himself standing by leaning against the wall, and by the time that was starting to fail him, Ferdinand recovered himself and rose to hold him. 

“Thank you, my love. You do not have to worry about me.” That would probably be a hell of a lot romantic if Ferdinand’s face wasn’t covered in cum, but there was something beautiful in the look he sported in Hubert’s eyes. Flames below, he is fucked in the head.

“Yes, yes. You made your point, _Ferdie._ ” He wanted to sound upset, but he didn’t have much energy for that. Or anything else. He was leaning on Ferdinand at this point, feeling rather tired. Looks like his orgasm was intense. Huh. 

“Come now. You can barely keep yourself standing! Let us have you lie down, and maybe-”

Suddenly neither of them could block out the sounds of anything anymore because both of them grew alert when they heard a familiar voice cry out in a tone that they didn’t wish to hear. 

“...Uhm...that could not have been…” 

“...” Hubert let out a deep sigh as a new wave of both disgust and embarrassment washed over him. He had to cover his face with his hand. “Void’s sake, Dorothea…” 

“W-Well, you cannot fault them for growing bored while you were, ahem, ‘out’, can you?” Ferdinand always had to try and appease things, didn’t he? 

“Yes, I will fault them. Do not tell me what to do.” Now you know where Ferdinand got it. “Let...ugh, let’s just go…” 

Ferdinand was about to ask where would they go, but just then Hubert mumbled an incantation. A magic circle appeared below them and after they were both engulfed by the magic coming out of it, they were warped away to Hubert’s room. As soon as they got there, he let himself fall and die on his bed as he tried to forget what he just heard. 

For once, Ferdinand’s complaints about the cum on his hair were welcomed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna see the visuals for this fic, drop by @R0MBARA ;)


End file.
